Perfect love casts out fear. And the one who fears is not perfected in love, because fear involves punishment.” (1 John 4:18).
False responsibility is something which says, “I must do such-and-such in order to please so-and-so. If I don’t do such-and-such, then so-and-so will not be pleased with me.” Predominantly, the fear of punishment controls the one who is under the “yoke” or “burden” of false responsibility, and a tremendous “love deficit” is prevalent in such families — striving replaces acceptance, incessant talk and gossip replaces prayer, and hugging, etc. “The one who fears is not perfected in love, for fear involves punishment” (1 John 4:18). In fact, the whole practice of witchcraft (trying to “control” another person, situations, and things) is very much tied in with this type of behaviour — if the yoke of false responsibility is prevalent in your family, then so too is the spirit of witchcraft (authority through intimidation, as opposed to love).
As I have learned myself, false responsibility often comes in at an early age, say, when you were even in the womb. Here is how. Although dad got mom pregnant, yet their relationship was not good. Dad and mom often fought, and angry words were exchanged, while you were trying to rest while yet in the womb. So you were “affected” by the spirit at work between mom and dad. That was a spirit of witchcraft — mom and dad unwittingly “invoked” (invited into their presence) this spirit every time they shouted at one another, every time they used ungodly means to carry out their relationship, every time bitterness replaced love, and striving replaced acceptance. The spirit working between them had already gained a “hold” between them, and naturally wanted to be able to stay within the same family, so it began working on you, too, to try and get you to “invoke,” or “bring about” it’s presence. (Spirit must work by this means. They cannot simply “come” into your presence unless there is some means by which they are “invoked”, whether that be overtly, such as in a seance, or covertly, as in when someone commits fornication and thereby “invites” a spirit to come into him through his willful disobedience.
From a natural standpoint (leaving spirits aside for a moment), because your sense of hearing was one of the first things to “come alive” while you were developing in the womb, and you were indeed a very sensitive creature, you heard mom and dad fighting all the time. It wouldn’t have been nearly that bad if mom and dad would have humbled themselves at one point along the way, and repented of their sins, and especially prayed for you, in love, by laying their hands on her tummy and praying a (continual, ongoing) prayer of healing and comfort for you. But they didn’t. So a spirit of fear took hold of you. You could do very little about it. You were a victim of circumstance. Without even realizing it — and, in fact, the thought never even crossed your mind at any point along the way — as you grew up, you lived under the “rule” or “guidance” of this very same spirit that was attached to you through those initials encounters, which were given their “permission” through mom and dad’s sin. As time went on, that spirit controlled you, and increasingly began to shape you. Because you did not “shake it” or “get free from it,” it became virtually one and the same with you. It was not you, but it made its home in you. You did not overtly reject it, therefore it stayed. It was happy, and you were deceived (the perfect combination for a spirit to be able to stay). You did not have the fortitude to be able to get free, much less the knowledge of where even to begin.
So you never did get healed of that spirit, but instead incubated it within yourself. That spirit would sometimes talk to you, and you would listen to it, thinking that it was your own thoughts. You even took direction from that spirit, instead of rejecting it. When it said, in the first person singular, on many occasions, “I would be better off dead,” you agreed with it, not recognizing that you were agreeing with a spirit that was dwelling inside of you, a spirit born of death and not of life, that had unwittingly come upon you ever since you were a young person, yes, even while you were yet in the womb!
“Perfect love casts out fear. And the one who fears is not perfected in love, because fear involves punishment.” (1 John 4:18).