“He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy”. (Proverbs 29:1)

I heard a little while ago that the sin you don’t deal with will be your downfall. I didn’t realize how true that saying is.

I didn’t want to deal with lust and it caught up with me. I’d been a Christian for a few years, was anointed and flowing in the spirit and had some measure of victory. I knew I was on the right track.

I was trying to die to my fleshly desires but I didn’t have a good working knowledge of the word and I kept making excuses for myself. (That is not how you walk in victory.)

A young man that I met in a church environment started calling and calling. Old fears about being alone and never getting married resurfaced. I started going out with him. It turned out he was even less willing to abstain from sex than I was. A sexual relationship developed and the Lord started dealing with me about it.

I eventually broke up with the fellow after the Lord gave me a piercing song. I had been singing it in tongues for weeks and it always made me weep so I asked the Lord for the interpretation. It cut my heart like a knife.

A couple of weeks later I went back to his place to pick up my stuff and got sweet talked into going to bed with him one last time. I had a check in my spirit, but I didn’t listen.

Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was kicked off the worship team and intercessory prayer group without an interview, or consultation, or prayer. I was ostracized by my church family and my Mom didn’t stick up for me, even though she knew how hard I had struggled to change. Even worse, she told me I had to leave her home before the baby was born.

The stress of finishing fourth year Mechanical/Industrial Engineering, my thesis, working part time and having major morning sickness nearly did me in.

This is just the start of what happened. I’ll continue this message at a later date.

Major lessons I learned from this are …

1. God will reprove you many times but if you keep insisting on having your own way, He’ll let you … with all the consequences.

2. Humble yourself and ask trustworthy Christian friends for prayer every day/week until you get your victory. Lust is something that nobody wants to discuss in the church yet many struggle with it.

3. Keep asking God for help. Just keep on asking and be honest with Jesus. He knows you need his help, but you and I need to realize and acknowledge that we need His help.

4. Always remember that there will be some people who will never forget what you’ve done — future opportunities may be jeopardized when you disappoint or embarrass people. Nevertheless, God is the great forgiver and is able to do wonders in your life despite even this – praise His Holy Name!

5. Though the whole world may desert you, Jesus never will. He truly sticks closer than any brother. (Hebrews 13:5)