Grief can be good, when it leads you to your destination.
I had felt the peace of the Lord only minutes earlier, about five miles down the road. But as the children and I now neared our destination, I began to suddenly feel this sickly feeling inside of me, as though God was saying to me, “No, no, no, you’re making a mistake! Go back!”
I simply could not ignore the intense feeling of uneasiness that I had going on inside of me. The closer we got to our destination, the worse I felt! Ugh! It felt aweful! I finally decided that I didn’t want to live with this feeling forever.
However, I did not want to disappoint the children, because they wanted to go there. I confessed, “Children, I have a problem. I keep feeling worse and worse as we go! I think God is telling us to go back!”
“Well, you had better go back, then, dad,” my son Daniel said.
My son knew that once I felt that the Lord has said something to me, it was useless to try and get me to do something else. Nothing would work from that point on if I did not obey the Lord. So we turned around. All of a sudden, the peace came back to me. Full peace. Yes, we were headed in the right direction.
Well, the entrance we had been seeking was the entrance to the “Mackenzie King Estate Park”. And we had just about got there. But now we had turned around. I figured that maybe the Lord was saying, “Just forget the park altogether”, so I said to the children, “Well, how about if we go swimming, instead. Would you like to do that?” They said, “Yes”. So we turned around.
But not too far down the road, I had another ‘unction’ in my spirit to take a right. Again, I had no idea why I was to do this, except that God was leading me. He was leading me through his peace. Or should I say, he was leading me through the ‘lack’ of peace that I had experienced … either way!
Finally, just a ways down the road, I noticed a *second* entrance that said, “Mackenzie King Estate Park”! But it was not the same as the first one. This time, I had full peace. Wow! What a difference. As we drove in, there was a girl attendant manning the parking lot. She said she was closing in 15 minutes, so we could come back and park for free at that time if we wanted to. I thought, “Okay, we’ll do that. We’ll take a leisurely stroll down the way and come back in 15 minutes.” I had some evangelistic tracts (pamphlets) in the car, and I pulled one out and gave it to her. She looked at it and began to smile! She said, “thank-you for giving this to me!” And then she confessed that she needed some answers.
She was more concerned about spiritual things now than ever, since the events at the World Trade Center. This led to an absolutely *huge* opening that was undeniably of God! Needless to say, the peace was absolutely flowing. She was wide open to share with, and she drank it in for at least fifteen or twenty solid minutes as I shared with her.
During that whole time, the Lord kept impressing upon me, “keep sharing”, and so I did. I kept sharing and sharing, and then she said she would have to go in about five minutes. However, I must have shared with her for at least another ten minutes after that point in time, and then there came a distinct point at which the Lord impressed upon me that I had shared what he wanted me to share with her, and, in particular, what the gospel message was all about.
We parted company, but not without first giving her an additional tract, Billy Graham’s “Peace with God”, which I find to be succint, and easy to understand (an ideal tract, in my opinion). On the back I scribbled, “99.1 FM, Focus on the Family, 6:30-7:00 PM, 5:30-6:00 AM”. I said, “Listen to this radio station and this show and this will help you to understand what is going on in our world today from a spiritual perspective. This show will help you.” She said, “I will!” I also said, “Call the station for more information and for help on spiritual things. You need to find a good church, read the Bible, and get together with Christians, who can help you.”
This woman was searching. I had made no “mistake” that day when I decided to turn around and head back in the other direction. Yes, it really was God leading me! God guides his children, according to his promise, found in the book of John, “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.” (John 16:13)