Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Husband and wife go to son’s baseball game. Both are happy and are enjoying the game. It is almost, shall we say, as though it was their second honeymoon, and good thoughts are flowing through their minds. The sun is shining, and the conversation is great.

Husband to wife, “Darling, remember when we used to date and go for walks out in the field?”

Wife replies, “Yes, that was nice. I sure remember that. I’ll never forgot that big field we used to walk in together, as we held hands thinking about our upcoming wedding.”

Husband, “Darling, I love you.”

Wife replies, “I love you, too.”

The two are in love; there’s no doubt about it. All is going well, the sun is shining, a gentle cool breeze is blowing, and the son is having a great game. In short, everything seems to be (and is, in fact), “in control.” All of a sudden, the Holy Spirit speaks to the husband very clearly: “It’s time to go. There’s something important I want you to do. Please start going on your way right now, you can leave your wife here with your son, they will be fine.” The unction is clear. God has spoken.

The husband knows that the Holy Spirit has spoken to him, and says to his wife, “Honey, there something I need to do. I’m not sure how long it will take, but if I’m not back in time, I’ll see you both back at home, okay?” The wife hesitates just a little bit, because she knows that this will mean some sacrifice on her part (she will now have to take the bus with her son in order to get home). Because her husband has a natural “fear of rejection” which has somehow been placed in his spirit/heart (quite apart from his wife’s doing, but something which predates their relationship, in fact), he then interprets his wife’s “slight hesitation” as meaning, “She is not really pleased that I want to go. If I leave now, she will hate me, I had better not leave.” Because of this, he allows his fear of rejection to begin to rule him and be his master (instead of the Lord). He has allowed his fear to trap himself, and lead him into disobedience of not doing what God asked him to do.

Perhaps you are there right now. You fear what someone thinks of you. That fear, however, is residing deep in your heart — it really does not have to do with the other person, but is there because Satan put it there a long, long, time ago (maybe you were abandoned by your father, or mother, on some occasion, and now you think that perhaps your wife (or husband, or whoever) may do the same thing to you). God wants to take that fear out of you, and show you that He loves you. You don’t need to fear. You need to obey. But how do you get rid of that fear? In my own experience dealing with these things, I have discovered that there are several ways, really, of dealing with the problem.

(1) Choose to obey God when He speaks. Stop rationalizing your feelings about “rejection” which leads you into disobedience. Begin to realize that a lot of your thoughts may be coming at you from “enemy territory.” Take them captive. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). The Bible says, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). You must take your thoughts captive. Test them and see if they are of Christ (this is why you need to be deeply embedded in the word of God, and know it).

(2) Spend some quality time with the Lord each day, resting in his presence, so He can cleanse your heart from bitter feelings which allow feelings of rejection to “take their root.”

(3) Spend quality time with God’s people in praise and worship on a continual basis. God can and will deliver you in the midst of your praise and worship to Him. (And there are many testimonies which support this).