Should Christians Divorce? Part 3

Before Christmas, a new friend confessed to me that he was not living with his wife. In fact, he was under a court order preventing him from seeing his wife, on account of having, in the eyes of the law and his wife, assaulted her. I must say, I cannot confirm what the assault was, except that my friend said he “pushed” his wife. In response to that, she ended up calling the police which led to his being arrested. The man told me that he loved his wife and wanted to reconcile. He felt that his wife had overreacted.

But later on, he confessed to me that he had, in the past, used provocative and vile words to describe his wife, in his wife’s presence. Surely, I must say, one of the reasons the man’s wife called the police that day had to do not only with what had happened that day (whatever “push” means), but also some of this man’s past actions and words that he had spoken.

What is evident in all of this was that this man’s wife did not trust him and that lack of trust led her to calling the police. In discussing this issue with him (as he was willing to share that with me, a good thing), I did not condemn him (for he under conviction and already knew he was condemned), but rather listened attentively to what he had to say. I sensed there was more to the story than met the eye and wanted to hear what the Holy Spirit had to say about this, so I waited patiently.

The Holy Spirit impressed upon me that there might be some unclean thing in this man’s house that was causing some problems. This is not to say that the man himself was without sin. However, there can be things of a physical nature that can get in the way and cause havoc in our homes. I asked this man if I could come over to his apartment and anoint the rooms with oil and pray over each one, which he agreed to. I came over and we talked and then I began to proceed with anointing the rooms with oil, one by one, and praying as I went along.

I had some oil in hand (the type or “mix” does not matter). I took really just a drop and applied it to the walls and prayed. I did this room by room. When I came to the living room, I put a drop on my finger, applied it to the wall, and began praying. As I was praying, suddenly the Lord showed me a vision of something that looked like small connected triangular pieces of glass passing in front of me, from left to right. Then it happened a second time, obviously so I would not miss it or think falsely that God had not shown me something.

I told the man, “The Lord has shown me these connected triangular pieces of glass. Do you have anything like that in the house?” The man first showed me a plain piece of glass, as in a mirror, and I responded by saying, “No, that is not what I saw.” Then, he thought for a moment, and showed me a glass vase with all of these triangular shapes in it, about a foot high, less than 10 feet from me, sitting there on the ground. It fit the description perfectly! I said, “Yes, that’s it! That’s what I saw!”

But what was so special about this vase? Why did the Lord show it to me? What was he saying? To understand the answer to that, I needed to converse a little more with the man. He told me that the vase was a wedding present given to the man’s wife on the occasion of her previous marriage. Yes, she had been previously married. This was not her first marriage, but her second, in fact. Her first marriage had ended in divorce, precisely three months to the day after she had gotten married.

And now, something more amazing still had happened. The very day that she had called the police, my friend had explained to me, was exactly three months to the day after she had gotten married the second time. Now think about that. Was this a coincidence? What could this represent or possibly represent?

First, we need to consider what the Lord was showing. First, I think it is clear that he was pointing to the vase as a source of trouble in the relationship. Notice how he did not proverbially “beat” the man over the head with his sin. The man was already under conviction and sorry for what he had done in “pushing” his wife. Instead, the Lord was pointing towards something that could be done to help rectify the situation as it then stood. Let’s look at three possible issues surrounding the vase.

For one, I would say that the vase was a source of problems because the vase itself represented a (previously) failed marriage. As such, the vase really had no place in the house. Why even keep such a thing and hold onto it? The man explained to me that he and his wife were hoping to sell it and get some money for it. Hmm… from what I recall of my Bible reading, the love of money is the source of all sorts of evil! (1 Timothy 6:10)

Second, if there were heart attachments associated with the vase (and I can pretty well assure you there were), then these heart attachments have a way of causing trouble in existing relationships. A heart attachment is a serious issue. From the wife’s perspective, it is possible (and I would say quite likely) that she could not be entirely devoted to her husband with that vase sitting right there reminding her day after day of her previous husband. Women and men alike, get rid of these things!

Finally, demonic interference or presences may arise a result of objects like these lying around in the house. You may say, “Well, it was just a vase.” Well, then, why did the Lord so clearly show it to me? He showed it to me because it was the source of great trouble and conflict in this woman’s current marriage. How may demonic interference or presences be there as a result? The possibilities are actually endless, but one scenario might be that someone, having seen the vase day after day, and being tempted in their heart because of what it represented, cursed themselves and/or the object and it invoked the presence of demons. Demons will quite often inhabit the place where cursing was issued or where any other type of sin was committed, and they will stay there until evicted.

A demonic presence in the vase would possibly explain the three month issue – why the woman called the police exactly three months to the day of their marriage, in “sync” with her previous failed marriage. That would be because of the demonic presence (these are real entities having personalities) causing almost irresistible temptation in the man to “push” his wife on that day and assault her. Can demons actually do that? Well, they can, but they can only assist in the process, they cannot force the man to assault his wife. The man would have to have agreed with the demons (whether he knew it or not, he would still be agreeing with them if they tempted him to push his wife and he followed suit). Men and women are always responsible for their sin, even if a demon provides almost (so-called) “irresistible” temptation in the process.

With the husband’s approval and consent, I purchased the vase (and a few other small items) from him for a small amount of money and then immediately took them away and destroyed them. I did this, really, because of the Lord’s leading (for I could do nothing else until this had been done). I decided to purchase them in order not to provide a stumbling block to the wife, who had wanted to sell them (after all, they had suffered enough division as it was!). After these items were destroyed, there was freedom in the Holy Spirit to return to the house and keep praying, but the Holy Spirit did not reveal anything else to me while praying.

Just like we are to interpret the written word of God, it’s really our obligation as Christians to interpret those dreams and visions and any other signs which we believe that God has given to us (we may not have an interpretation, in which case we can put the interpretation on “hold”, which is quite all right, as well). But in this case, I think it is clear that the Holy Spirit was saying something quite encouraging, in fact. First, he was interested in helping to pin-point the source of the problem. It would be very easy to just blame the man. I am not in favor of always blaming men – I am one of them 🙂 !

But seriously, it would have been easy to blame the man and simply leave it at that, right? That really would have been a tragedy. The man shared in the blame, but was not the entire reason for the division that existed, to be sure. If anything, this is what the Holy Spirit was saying. He was saying, “There is more to this than meets the eye.” And there was. But how can you or I discern these things? We need God’s help. We need to rely upon the Holy Spirit. In my own experience, there is far too much humanistic preaching and application of the gospel message, and far too little real discernment in the church. The Lord has given us giftings for a reason. We need to use them.