About a year and a half after we lost our third child due to a miscarriage, I was still, somehow, trying to ‘incorporate’ the little lost one into our family. I would pray with my wife and children, “Lord, bless Daniel and Elizabeth … and the baby in heaven.” That is ‘okay’ to do, and I’m not saying there is anything overtly wrong with doing this. But it can lead to unhealthy heart attachments, and cause to come to a standstill the mourning process that must occur when someone dies.
It goes like this. Someone dies. You bury that person (physically). Now you must bury that person emotionally. You are not to ‘forget’ about that person — that would be to dishonor that person, even God who created that person. But rather, you are to ‘bury’ that person in the sense that you must ‘let them be dead’. Honor the truth and don’t live a lie. Don’t cause to live what God has caused to die. Let me say that again. Don’t cause to live what God has caused to die.
Ultimately, God is the author of life and death. He gave us our lives. He has the power to take them back again. Regardless of the circumstances why the person died (drug overdose, old age, disease, etc..) we must respect the fact that they are dead. We must not try to ‘bring to life’ something that has died. Let me make it as clear as I can: resurrection is God’s business, not man’s! It is not our responsibility to bring to life what has died. One day, if we have come to put our faith in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, we will be able to go to heaven and meet those loved ones that have gone before us, like our baby that died before it was even born. But for now, we must live as though the baby is not here — we must get on with our lives.
Still, in the midst of my sometimes busy life, I find myself praying with my kids and wife, “Lord, bless the baby that is in heaven.” There is victory in that prayer, though, inasmuch as I have lost my desire to bring that baby back into my own life before it is time. I have mourned the loss of the baby. I have gotten over it. Still, I honor the short life of Taylor Parkes, whom we never got to know, but whom we shall one day meet when we go to be with God in heaven.
Some time ago — oh, it must have been about a year ago now — I was kneeling by the bedside of my son Daniel, and the Lord gave me a very clear vision which astounded me and set my heart rejoicing. In the vision, he clearly showed me that the baby was in heaven. And then he showed me another very fascinating vision of many people in heaven! In my ignorance, I initially assumed that what God was showing me was that the baby was safe and that I didn’t need to worry, because there were many people there to take care of that baby.
While I am sure that it is true that there are many people with our baby in heaven at this moment, yet I am also equally sure that that was not the point of God showing me these many people. In fact, when I later began to reflect upon this by way of trying to write it down, I felt the Lord say to me, “Don’t write down what you think you saw. Write down what you saw.” So I said to the Lord, “Lord, I saw two things. I saw that the baby was safe in heaven! And I also saw many people in heaven. What are you trying to say?” It was at that time that it became clear to me that what the Lord was actually showing me was that, as a result of the baby going to heaven in an untimely manner, MORE PEOPLE would be able to go to heaven! Aha! A slightly different interpretation!
Now today, I would like to assure you, that God in his wisdom, is able to make all things work together for the good to those who love him, to those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). He has ‘foreknown’ all things, and is using all things to make us more like the image of his beloved Son, Jesus Christ, through whom all things were created. Because of this, we don’t have to mourn forever the loss of dear loved ones. We can let them go; we can release them unto God. Those who know him, and I believe that those who die as infants, are with him. We don’t need to worry about them. We can rejoice that we will be with them one day. And we can move on with the present work that God has given us all to do. We can rejoice that God knows all things, and is working all things together for the good.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” (Romans 8:28-29)
Rev 1.1, July 8, 2010.